Grief: Guide to coping with the loss of a loved one

What is grief?

Grief is a natural form of emotional suffering or distress usually caused by the loss of someone or something valuable to you.

What are some the situations that cause grief?

-        The death of a loved one

-        The death of a pet

-        The loss of something that was considered valuable

-        The end of a romantic relationship or friendship

-        The loss of a job or a business

What are the feelings associated with grief?

-        Numbness

-        Heaviness

-        Emptiness

-        Pain

-        Sadness

-        Confusion

What are the five stages of grief?

-        Denial – not believing that the loss has occurred or is happening.

-        Anger – feelings of bitterness or rage aimed at the person or situation associated with the loss.

-        Bargaining – making deals with the God or a higher power to take the pain away. “What if” questions tend to arise during this stage.

-        Depression – quiet stage where you may choose to isolate yourself as you process the fog of confusion and heaviness.

-        Acceptance – seeing the situation for what it is and coming to terms with the loss.

*Developed by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, a Swiss-American psychiatrist who published her book “On Death and Dying” in 1969, which described her conversations with her patients that were terminally ill.

What are the seven stages of grief?

-        Shock and Denial

-        Pain and *Guilt

-        Anger and Bargaining

-        Depression

-        Upward Turn

-        Reconstruction and working through

-        Acceptance and Hope

*Typical in cases where the death was unexpected like accidents or suicides.

NOTE: The stages of grief may not always follow the same sequence and will vary from person to person.  If you feel like you are unable to move past a particular stage and need additional support, please seek professional help.

How does grief affect your physical body?

-        Pain

-        Illness

-        Disease

-        Inability to move

How does grief affect your energy body?

Every human has a very well-constructed and sophisticated energy management system that helps maintain the flow of energy through our energy centers (chakras) and our energy body (aura).  When we experience grief due to the loss of someone or something, typically one or more of our energy centers starts pulling energy away from its center to compensate for the loss of energy and repair that needs to occur in the other parts of your body as part of the healing process. 

When we lose a loved one, oftentimes we feel the heaviness in our chest area as the love that we shared with them is usually stored in the heart center. The heaviness that we feel is in part a result of the dense negative emotions of sadness pouring into our heart as we experience this grief.  

In addition, as this connection of our loved one is severed, and their energy leaves with them, this pain may also be felt in the heart area. The empty feeling that we have can be associated with their energy leaving our body which can also manifest as the pain that we feel in our physical body.

During this time, the heart chakra may also start closing to stop the rapid release of energy as it goes into a protective mode.  As this loving warmth leaves our heart center it can sometimes cause the coldness that people often sense as having a “cold heart”.

How can you overcome grief?

-        Meditation – take the time to reflect, release and replenish your energy.

-        Mindfulness – bring your awareness to and acknowledge your thoughts and feelings.

-        Self-Care – remember your hygiene and take some time to pamper yourself.

-        Reconnect with the things that bring you joy - music, dancing, painting, gathering with family and friends etc.

-        Plan a nature walk – our environment has all the elements needed to support us on our journey so head to the beach or take a walk in the forest to replenish your energy

-        Get help – talk to a therapist, a meditation guide or join a support group to help you express and manage what you are going through. Having a good support system in place is key to your healing process.

If you require further assistance with managing your grief energy click here to schedule a Personal Intuitive Meditation Session.